Open the Campaign Battles!...
“Why would smart voters want to put Democrats in Congress in 2018 Election when their policies will totally kill the great wealth created during the months since the Election? I created the wealth, I should keep it!”
Lemon Verbatim’s Irany Prediction...
“Oppressive regimes cannot endure forever”
Question: “It sounds like you’re tacking to the center in a way you didn’t before.”
Lemon Verbatim: “No, I’m not being centered.”
Now Is the Wintour of Our Discontent – Lemon Verbatim...
“Vanity Fair, which looks like it is on its last legs, is bending over backwards in apologizing for the minor hit they took at Crooked H. Anna Wintour, who was all set to be Amb to Court of St James’s & a big fundraiser for CH, is beside herself in grief & begging for forgiveness!”
The Sign of the Crossed...
“All signs are that business is looking really good for next year, only to be helped further by our Tax Cut Bill when they didn’t really need it. Revenue for safety net will now go to a new Gilded Age. Sold the middle class a BILL OF GOODS!”
Repeal & Replace...
“Based on the fact that the very unfair and unpopular Individual Mandate has been terminated as part of our Tax Cut Bill, which essentially Repeals (over time) ObamaCare, the Democrats & Republicans will eventually come together and develop a great new HealthCare plan after 2018 when I get impeached by the new Democrat majority!”
Missile in Tow and Folly...
"People are proud to be saying Merry Christmas again. I am proud to have led the charge against the assault of our cherished and beautiful phrase. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! We are ordering $4 billion worth of missile defense equipment and missiles themselves. Very important. Top of the line. Best in the world. We make the best military product in the world, and nobody is even close. And so we’re ordering $4 billion worth of missile defense, it’s $4 billion for that and $700 million for various other military forms of equipment. And I’m very honored to be doing that. Our military has been doing a fantastic job with the war on Christmas."
Ass and It Shall Be Given to You...
"The Fake News refuses to talk about how Big and how Strong our BASE is. They show Fake Polls just like they report Fake News. When you look at the base, you don't see the bottom of it. The polls don't show you the bottom, but we will show you the bottom! Merry Christmas!"
Lemon Verbatim's Undertaking – The Individual Mendacity...
"And we have, of course, the individual mandate, which is a very unfair and very unpopular provision, as you know, in Obamacare. Essentially, I think it ultimately leads to the end of Obamacare. Essentially, I think Obamacare is over because of that, and we’re going to come up with something that’s really going to be very good."
"So what’s happening is we’re going to sign this. This is a little picture of it. It fits nicely in the box. I said, take it out of the box because people have to see. And all of this — everything in here — is really tremendous things for businesses, for people, for the middle class, for workers. And I consider this very much a bill for the middle class and a bill for jobs. And the middle class and the workers will have to pay this bill soon — soon, that was important to me — so that the super wealthy and great corporations can enjoy their TAX CUTS right away! Merry Christmas!"
"By cutting taxes and reforming the broken system, we are now pouring rocket fuel into the engine of our economy. When the fuel is spent, the booster rocket will fall to earth and the one percent will continue on in the great spirit of optimism like never before!"
The Most Unkindest Cut of All...
"I would like to congratulate senator majority leader on having done a fantastic job both strategically & politically on the passing in the Senate of the MASSIVE TAX CUT for business and the wealthy & the little, temporary one for the rest. I could have not asked for a better or more talented partner. Our team will go onto many more VICTORIES over the poor and middle-class!"
"Congratulations to Paul Ryan, Kevin McCarthy, Kevin Brady, Steve Scalise, Cathy McMorris Rodgers and all great House Republicans who voted in favor of cutting your taxes! This bill is so massive, you can vote on it again tomorrow!"
Hoax Is the Thing with Favors That's Purchased with the Soul...
"There is absolutely no collusion. I didn’t make a phone call to Russia. I have nothing to do with Russia. Everybody knows it. That was a Democrat hoax. It was an excuse for losing the election, and it should have never been this way, where they spent all these millions of dollars. So now even the Democrats admit there’s no collusion. There is no collusion — that’s it. And we got to get back to running a country, Putin told me."
"Now we’re just days away — I hope, I hope — you know what that means, right — from keeping that promise and delivering a truly amazing victory for American families. We want to give you, the American people, a giant tax cut for Christmas. And when I say giant, I mean giant. The bill is so big that it can't be read before we sign it. We will be unwrapping it for days, weeks, even years. We really don't know what is in it which makes it all the more exciting. Merry Christmas!"
Lemon Verbatim to Mueller It Over...
"I don't want to talk about pardons for Michael Flynn yet. We'll see what happens, let's see. I can say this, when you look at what's going on with the FBI and the Justice Department, people are very, very angry,"
The Ladies Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks...
"As a candidate, I promised we would pass a massive tax cut for the everyday, working Americans. If you make your voices heard, this moment will be forever remembered as a great new beginning – the dawn of a brilliant American future shining with PATRIOTISM, PROSPERITY AND PRIDE! All these pestering allegations of sexual misconduct and protests against my unpopular tax-bill might finally bring me down!"
Nixin' the Red Tape...
“The never-ending growth of red tape in America has come to a sudden, screeching and beautiful halt. We're going to cut the Red Tape for 18 1/2 minutes because we're getting back to 1973, and we'll be there fairly quickly."
'Tis the Song, the Sigh of the Weary, Hard Times, Hard Times, Come Again No Moore...
"The reason I originally endorsed Luther Strange (and his numbers went up mightily), is that I said Roy Moore will not be able to win the General Election. I was right! Roy worked hard but the deck was stacked against him! Dems pushed very hard for voter turn-out even with all our good attempts at voter suppression. And ever since they kicked Moore out of the mall for being a creep, people have been very unaccepting of pedophilia. Unfair!"
The Innuendo Justifies the Mean...
"Lightweight Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, a total flunky for Chuck Schumer and someone who would come to my office 'begging' for campaign contributions not so long ago (and would do anything for them) by which I mean I am a completely repulsive example of a man!"
A Moon of One's Own...
"The directive I'm signing today will refocus America's space program on human exploration and discovery. It marks an important step in returning American astronauts to the moon for the first time since 1972 for long-term exploration and use. This time, we will not only plant our flag and leave our footprint, we will actually go to the moon and not just on FAKE TV! Another false story that I watch 4-8 hours of television a day - Wrong!"
Birther of a Nation...
“The Civil Rights Museum records the oppression inflicted on the African American community — the fight to end slavery, to end Jim Crow, to gain the right to vote — so that others might live in freedom. Today we pay solemn tribute to our heroes of the past and show how quickly their work can be undone by the Birther President!"
"This is a sick system from the inside. And there's no country like our country, but we have a lot of sickness in some of our institutions. Dementia or Pathological Narcissism?"
"After years of Comey, with the phony and dishonest Clinton investigation (and more), running the FBI, its reputation is in Tatters - worst in History! But fear not, we will bring it back to greatness. We're going to clean up the mess. We're going to get rid of Mueller so no obstruction of justice! And we're going to get a really great vacuum!"
Spark of Brilliance...
"Thank you. When I came into office, I promised to look at the world’s challenges with open eyes and very fresh thinking. We cannot solve our problems by making the same failed assumptions and repeating the same failed strategies of the past. All challenges demand new approaches. This is why I am taking the Tinderbox of the Middle East and pouring Rocket Fuel on it!"
Wrapping Up a Spending Package Fix....
"The Democrats are really looking at something that could be very dangerous for our country and that something is ME. They are looking at shutting down. They want to have illegal immigrants, in many cases people that we don't want in our country, they want to have illegal immigrants pouring into our country, bringing with them crime, tremendous amounts of crime. For years I've been bringing tremendous amounts of illegal money into our country – mostly through Deutsche Bank and laundering it in real estate. We are taking tremendous amounts illegal cash and cleaning it. It's like CLEAN COAL! Rocket fuel for the economy. Merry Christmas!"
Molester Moore or Less is More...
"Democrats refusal to give even one vote for massive Tax Cuts is why we need Republican Roy Moore to win in Alabama. We need his pedophile vote on stopping crime, illegal immigration, Border Wall, Military, Pro Life, V.A., Judges 2nd Amendment and more."
Hitting Denial on de Head...
"I never asked Comey to stop investigating Flynn. Just more Fake News covering another Comey lie! I said 'let it go'. I said it with air quotes which means that I didn't really mean it. And my lawyer drafted it for me. And it's not my voice!"
The Electoral Rusky-Aid Acid Test – Lemon Verbatim...
"Many people in our Country are asking what the “Justice” Department is going to do about the fact that totally Crooked Hillary, AFTER receiving a subpoena from the United States Congress, deleted and “acid washed” 33,000 Emails? No justice!"
"Biggest Tax Bill and Tax Cuts in history just passed in the Senate. Now these great Republicans will be going for final passage. The lower corporate tax rate will IGNITE our ECONOMY which we will be pouring rocket fuel on! Republicans will be exploding the national deficit and at the same time, exploding the sacred Republican belief that it is the worst thing to increase the deficit!"
What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
In the icy air of night!
While the stars that oversprinkle
All the heavens, seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the Flynn-Flynn-Tabulation
that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells -
From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells...
"I will tell you this in a non-braggadocious way – there has never been a 10-month President that has accomplished what we have accomplished. That I can tell you. That I can tell you. I will probably be the first-10 month president. Maybe the first 11-month president. Harrison served a month and Garfield served six months. I didn't know that until two days ago. But nobody's done what I've done to the country! Merry Christmas!"