“We are going to have the Air Force and we’re going to have the Space Force, separate but equal. We’re going to overturn Brown versus Board of Education to do it. It is going to be something, so important.”
In a Sense...
“The IG Report totally destroys James Comey and all of his minions including the great lovers, Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, who started the disgraceful Witch Hunt against so many innocent people. It will go down as a dark and dangerous period in American History! Children ripped from their parents and locked up at the border for the crime of seeking a better life. The FBI under attack by a lying, feckless, unscrupulous, self-dealing, reckless, president!”
Much Bedder Now...
"I have a fantastic relationship now with North Korea. I spent over Five Hours with Kim which is like the time I spent watching Shark Week with Stormy and I was able to bed her even though she didn’t want to. I’m a fantastic dealmaker!”
Getting A Head of Himself...
“Wow, what a tough sentence for Paul Manafort, who has represented Ronald Reagan and many top political dictators. Didn’t know Manafort was the head of the Mob. He told me I was the head of the Mob! Very unfair!”
No Self Dealing, He Said Charitably...
“The sleazy New York Democrats, and their now disgraced (and run out of town) A.G. Eric Schneiderman—Peter Gleason gave Michael Cohen the dirt on him so he wouldn’t bring charges—are doing everything they can to sue me on a foundation that gave out to many charities—charities like settling some of my lawsuits and currying political favors. I also bought nice portrait of myself. I won’t settle this case!...Unless I can use the million dollars that’s left in the foundation to pay it off.”
“Sorry, we cannot let our friends, or enemies, take advantage of us on Trade anymore. We must put the American worker first! The American worker makes great Cannon Fodder on the front line of my trade war!”
Lemon Verbatim and His Greet Me Mores...
"We got to know each other well in a very confined period of time, under very strong, strong circumstance... Yeah, we'll be verifying. It will be verified...Well, I don't have to verify because I have one of the great memories of all time. So I don't have to. OK? OK?"
Lemon Verbatim—Miss Led and Stopid [sick]...
“The fact that I am having a meeting is a major loss for the U.S., say the haters & losers. We have our hostages, testing, research and all missle launches have stoped.”
Lemon Verbatim on Touchy Negotiations...
“The first minute I'll know -- just my touch, my feel, that's what I do,"
“I am on my way to Singapore where we have a chance to achieve a truly wonderful result for North Korea and the World. It will certainly be an exciting day and I know that Kim Jong-un will work very hard to do something that has rarely been done before...Be our new trading partner after I pull out of alliances with the G7 countries. PM Justin Trudeau of Canada said he ‘will not be pushed around.’ Very dishonest & weak. Our Tariffs are in response to his of 270% on dairy! Very Dangerous—National Security! Canadians burned down the White House during the war of 1812!”
Ali Ali Boxer Free...
Reporter: Will there be more pardons?
Lemon: There will be more pardons...I'm thinking about somebody that you all know very well, and he went through a lot. And he wasn't very popular then —
Reporter: Is it OJ?
Lemon: He wasn't very popular then — No, I’m not thinking about OJ. But he's not — only you could say OJ. But he was, look, he was not very popular then. His memory is very popular now. I'm thinking about Muhammad Ali. I'm thinking about that very seriously. And some others and some folks that have sentences that aren't fair. But I am thinking about Muhammad Ali.”
Reporter: The Supreme Court already overturned his conviction.
Lemon: I’m also thinking of Pardoning Richard Nixon.
“Isn’t it Ironic? Getting ready to go to the G-7 in Canada to fight with our Enemies on trade (we have the worst trade deals–which I totally made up), then off to Singapore to meet with my new friend, the Dictator & the Nuclear Problem, maybe I’ll build a new Trump Hotel in North Korea, But back home we still have the 13 Angry Democrats pushing the Witch Hunt and trying to send Paul Manafort, who was only on my campaign for a short time, to jail!”
“The Fake News Media has been so unfair, and vicious, to my wife and our great First Lady, Melania. During her recovery from surgery they reported everything from near death, to facelift, to left the W.H. (and me) for N.Y. or Virginia, to abuse. All Fake, she is doing really well! We are getting along great. Fake News Media always thinks we don’t get along just like with Rex Tillerson, H. R. McMaster and many others.”
“Separating families at the Border is the fault of bad legislation passed by the Democrats. The Russian Witch Hunt Hoax continues, all because Jeff Sessions didn’t tell me about his evil immigration policy..I would have quickly picked someone else. So much time and money wasted, so many lives ruined...and Sessions knew better. He was only on my campaign for a short time. No Collusion!”
“As has been stated by numerous legal scholars, I have the absolute right to PARDON myself. It says so in Articles of the Monarchy along with the clause on my right to free and unfettered corruption.”
Just Is a Pauling...
“As only one of two people left who could become President, why wouldn’t the FBI or Department of ‘Justice’ have told me that they were secretly investigating Paul Manafort (on charges that were 10 years old and had been previously dropped and were only reopened because they were linked to the Russian hacking) during my campaign? Should have told me so I could’ve let him know—he had an apartment right in Trump Tower!”
“Canada has treated our Agricultural business and Farmers very poorly for a very long period of time. Highly restrictive on Trade! They must open their markets and take down their trade barriers! Maybe they will bring me a very, very, large letter—that would be nice. We will see.”
Lemon Verbatim on the Summit— Let ‘er Rip...
“Don’t forget, this was a meeting where a letter with given to me by Kim Jong Un, and that letter was a very nice letter. Oh, would you like to see what was in that letter. How much? How much?"
"I haven't seen the letter yet. I purposely didn't open the letter. I didn't open it in front of the director. I said 'Would you want me to open it?' He said, 'You can read it later.' I could be in for a big surprise, folks."