April 30.2018

Correspondence Dinger...

"I guarantee you, I'm tougher on Russia. Nobody ever thought. In fact, have you heard about the lawyer? For a year, a woman lawyer, she was like, 'Oh, I know nothing.' ... Now all of a sudden she supposedly is involved with government. You know why? If she did that, because Putin and the groups said, 'you know this Trump is killing us. That filthy comedian is totally killing it. The White House Correspondents’ Dinner is DEAD as we know it. Trump is funnier all by himself. Say that you’re a Lawyer and an Informant!’ Bada-bing, bada-boom!”



April 29.2018


No Russia to Judgement...

“House Intelligence Committee rules that there was NO COLLUSION between the Trump Campaign and Russia. They believed EVERYTHING we said. They called NO KEY WITNESSES! As I have been saying all along, the Investigation is all a big Hoax. There should never have been a Special Counsel appointed. Witch Hunt!”



April 28.2018


Doctored Report...

“Secret Service has just informed me that Senator Jon Tester’s statements on Admiral Jackson are not true. There were no such findings. It was the Secret Service that was drunk and driving. They have cleared the ‘Candy Man’! A horrible thing that we in D.C. must live with, just like phony Russian Collusion. In fact it was the Secret Service that was seeing prostitutes. They have cleared me of all Collusion! Very dishonest and sick!”



April 27.2018

Friends and All Lies...

“They have a witch hunt against the President of the United States going on — I've taken the position — and I don’t have to take this position, and maybe I'll change — that I will not be involved with the Justice Department. I will wait until this is over. I will not be involved unless I can stop it — and I have tried stop it. It’s a total — it’s all lies, and it’s a horrible thing that's going on.”



April 26.2018

Lemon Verbatim Has a Tiny, Tiny Little Infraction…

“He has a percentage of my overall legal work, a tiny, tiny little fraction, but Michael would represent me and represent me on some things. He represents me like with this crazy Stormy Daniels deal, he represented me. You know, from what I see, he did absolutely nothing wrong."



April 25.2018

Dead On...

“Democrats are obstructing good (hopefully great) people wanting to give up a big portion of their life to work for our Government, hence, the American People. They are ‘slow walking’ all of my nominations - hundreds of people. Many have already given up their lives!”



April 2.2018

Lemon Verbatim with His Meds Under Control...

“We don’t want to give Iran open season to the Mediterranean, especially since we really control it to a large extent. We really have controlled it, and we’ve set control on it.”



April 23.2018


A Class Act...

“James Comey’s Memos are Classified, I did not Declassify them. They belong to our Government! Therefore, he broke the law! Additionally, he totally made up many of the things he said I said, which means he was totally leaking Classified Lies! I did not Declassify his Lies!”



April 22.2018


Refer Madness...

“The Washington Post said I refer to Jeff Sessions as ‘Mr. Magoo’ and Rod Rosenstein as ‘Mr. Peepers.’ This is ‘according to people with whom the president has spoken.’ There are no such people and don’t know these characters. If ‘Mr. Magoo’ were sitting in the room right now, I really wouldn't know what he looked like. Anyway, they say I’ve been going to get rid of ‘Mr. Magoo’ and ‘Mr. Peepers’ for three months, four months, five months, and they are still here.”



April 21.2018


Holding the Line on His Concession Stand...

“A message from Kim Jong Un: ‘North Korea will stop nuclear tests and launches of intercontinental ballistic missiles.’ Also will ‘Shut down a nuclear test site in the country’s Northern Side to prove the vow to suspend nuclear tests.’ When we meet, he also promised I could have two scoops of ice cream while he had just one. Progress being made for all!”




April 20.2018


“We’ll do sanctions as soon as they very much deserve it. There's been nobody tougher on Russia than President Donald Trump. With the media, no matter what I did, it's never tough enough, because that's the narrative. But Russia will tell you there's been nobody tougher than Donald Trump. Russia even said to me when Nikki Haley mentioned the sanctions, ‘Hey, those sanctions are too tough’. And I thought, ‘that’s right, her sanctions shouldn’t be tougher than mine’ so I got rid of them.”



April 19.2018



“Well, thank you very much. Many of the world’s great leaders request to come to Mar-a-Lago and Palm Beach. They like it; I like it. We’re comfortable. We have great relationships. Other countries call it a bribe or a payoff. We like to call it a pay-up. We call it sometimes tippy top.”



April 18.2018


Attorney of the Screw...

“Attorney Client privilege is now a thing of the past. I have many (too many!) lawyers and they are probably wondering when their offices, and even homes, are going to be raided with everything, including their phones and computers, taken. All my lawyers are deflated and concerned! Next they’ll say I can’t offer my Presidential Pardons to buy the silence of my Colluders.”



April 17.2018


Taking Credit...

“In the years ahead, because I signed one of the largest tax cuts in history and the most sweeping tax reform in a generation, many Americans will complete their taxes on a simple, single sheet of paper. Remarkably, that sheet of paper is in IOU for the one and a half trillion dollar deficit that the next generation will have to pay for.”



April 16.2018


Tall Order...

“I never asked Comey for Personal Loyalty. I hardly even knew this guy. Just another of his many lies. If he were sitting in the room right now, I really wouldn’t know what he looked like. He would probably blend in with the blue curtains. His ‘memos’ are self serving and FAKE!”



April 15.2018


A Polling Factor...

“Unbelievably, James Comey states that Polls, where Crooked Hillary was leading, were a factor in the handling (stupidly) of the Clinton Email probe. In other words, he was making decisions based on the fact that he thought she was going to win, and he wanted a job. It was like a Love-Fest between Clinton and Comey—am I the only one who sees that? Slimeball!”



April 14.2018


History Retweets Itself—Lemon Verbatim...

“Mission Accomplished!”



April 13.2018


Slime Will Tell—Lemon Verbatim...

“James Comey is a proven LEAKER & LIAR. Virtually everyone in Washington thought he should be fired for the terrible job he did-until he was, in fact, fired. He leaked CLASSIFIED information, for which he should be prosecuted. He lied to Congress under OATH. He is a weak and untruthful slime ball who was, as time has proven, a terrible Director of the FBI. His handling of the Crooked Hillary Clinton case, and the events surrounding it, will go down as one of the worst ‘botch jobs’ of history. It was my great honor to fire James Comey!”



April 12.2018


Fire Power...

“Never said when an attack would take place. Could be very soon or not so soon at all! If I wanted to fire on Robert Mueller in December, as reported by the Failing New York Times, I would have fired on him. Who knew, I would have such a hard time firing people? In any event, the United States, under my Administration, has done a great job of ridding my Administration of its members. Where is our ‘Thank you America?’”



April 11.2018


Lemon Verbatim Embraces Russia with Open Arms...

6:57 a.m.: “Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and ‘smart!’ You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!”

7:37 a.m.: “Our relationship with Russia is worse now than it has ever been, and that includes the Cold War. There is no reason for this. Russia needs us to help with their economy, something that would be very easy to do, and we need all nations to work together. Stop the arms race?”



April 10.2018


Which Hunt?...

“So I just heard that they broke into the office of one of my personal attorneys—a good man. And it’s a disgraceful situation. It’s a total witch hunt. I’ve been saying it for a long time. I’ve wanted to keep it down. And I have this witch hunt constantly going on for over 12 months now—I believe the time has come to bring that investigation and the other investigations of this matter to an end. One year of Watergate is enough."



April 9.2018


Revision Cutting Sanctimony—Lemon Verbatim...

April 8, 2018: “If President Obama had crossed his stated Red Line In The Sand, the Syrian disaster would have ended long ago! Animal Assad would have been history!”

Sept 5, 2013: “The only reason President Obama wants to attack Syria is to save face over his very dumb RED LINE statement. Do NOT attack Syria,fix U.S.A.”


April 8.2018

Master Fraud—The Pruitt Is in the Pudding...

“While Security spending was somewhat more than his predecessor, Scott Pruitt has received death threats because of his bold actions at EPA. 19 round-the-clock agents and 19 vehicles— with flashing lights to go to dinner—costing 3 million in salaries and travel expenses is not unreasonable when you see how disliked he is. Disneyland and Rose Bowl ‘working vacations’ with security detail for thousands of dollars was OK. Rent of $50 was about market rate. Cone-of-silence office phone-booth—$43,000. Attempting to dismantle the agency that is charged with protecting the environment—Priceless.”



April 7.2018

Whatever Floats Your Vote...

“In many places like California, the same person votes many times. You’ve probably heard of that. They always like to say, ‘Oh, that’s like a conspiracy theory.’ Not a conspiracy theory, folks. Millions and millions of people. A conspiracy theory involves lots and lots of coincidences strung together—I just say things off the top of my head. We call it sometimes, tippy-top.”



April 6.2018

The Lie of the Hurricane...

Reporter: “Did you know about the hundred $30,000 payment to Stormy Daniels”

Lemon: “No”



April 5.2018


Post Moron...

“The Fake News Washington Post, Amazon’s ‘chief lobbyist,’ has another (of many) phony headlines, ‘Trump Defiant As China Adds Trade Penalties.’ WRONG! Should read, ‘Trump Defies All Logic As Protectionist Republicans Keep Him in Office’ Typically bad reporting!”



April 4.2018


The Bull on the China Market—Lemon Verbatim...

“When you’re already $500 Billion DOWN, you can’t lose!”



April 3.2018


Lemon Prime—Fast, Free Delivery...

“The big Amazon now coming across Mexico and heading to our ‘Weak Laws’ Boarder. Until we can have a wall and proper security, we're going to be guarding our border with the military. It's a big step. Amazon should pay these costs (plus) and not have them bourne by the American Taxpayer. Many billions of dollars. P.O. leaders don’t have a clue (or do they?)!”



April 2.2018

Lemon Verbatim on a Roll...

“Also, I want to thank the White House Historical Association and all of the people that work so hard with Melania, with everybody, to keep this incredible house or building, or whatever you want to call it — because there really is no name for it; it is special — and we keep it in tip-top shape. We call it sometimes tippy-top shape. And it’s a great, great place.”



April 1.2018


Lemon Defends U.S. Male Service...

“I have stated my concerns with Amazons long before the Election.”