November 30 · 

Zen Cohen—Lemon Verbatim...

“I didn’t do the project. I decided not to do the project, so I didn’t do it. So we’re not talking doing a project. We’re talking about not doing a project,” 



November 29 · 

Hot Err—Lemon Verbatim...

“One of the problems that a lot of people like myself — we have very high levels of intelligence, but we’re not necessarily such believers. You look at our air and our water, and it’s right now at a record clean. But when you look at China and you look at parts of Asia and when you look at South America, and when you look at many other places in this world, including Russia, including — just many other places — the air is incredibly dirty. And when you’re talking about an atmosphere, oceans are very small. And it blows over and it sails over. I mean, we take thousands of tons of garbage off our beaches all the time that comes over from Asia. It just flows right down the Pacific, it flows, and we say where does this come from. And it takes many people to start off with.”


November 28 · 

Fed Up—Lemon Verbatim...

“I’m doing deals, and I’m not being accommodated by the Fed. They’re making a mistake because I have a gut, and my gut tells me more sometimes than anybody else’s brain can ever tell me.”



November 27 · 

Gas Light as a Feather—Lemon Verbatim...

“I do say—why are they there? First of all, the tear gas is a very minor form of the tear gas itself—it's very safe, the ones that were suffering to a certain extent were the people that were putting it out there. But you really say, why is a parent running up into an area where they know the tear gas is forming, and it's going to be formed, and they're running up with a child? In some cases, you know, they're not the parents. These are people, they call 'em grabbers. They grab a child because they think they'll have a certain status by having a child. You know, you have certain advantages in terms of our crazy laws that, frankly, Congress should be changing."



November 26 · 

No Stone Unturned...

“When Mueller does his final report, will he be covering all of his conflicts of interest in a preamble, will he be recommending action on all of the crimes of many kinds from those ‘on the other side’ (whatever happened to Podesta?), and will he be putting in statements from hundreds of people closely involved with my campaign who never met, saw or spoke to a Russian during this period? Will he be talking to the dozens in my administration who are not corrupt? What about the several people who work for me who are actually competent?”



November 25 · 

A Jack of Oil Trades...

“So great that oil prices are falling (thank you President T). Add that, which is like a big cloud of exhaust, to the atmosphere so you won’t notice our Black-Friday National Climate Assessment.”



November 24 · 

Taking It on the Mnuchin...

"I am extremely happy and proud of the job being done by USTreasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin. The FAKE NEWS Liberal Wall Street Journal likes to write stories to the contrary, quoting phony sources or jealous people, but they aren't true. They never like to ask me for a quote because it would kill their story. The true story is that I don’t know Mnuchin, but he’s doing a great job!”



November 23 · 

Bored’r Stiffed—Lemon Verbatim...

“Don’t worry about Thanksgiving. These are tough people. They know what they’re doing and they’re great. And they’ve done a great job. You’re so worried about the Thanksgiving holiday for them. They are so proud to be representing our country on the border.”



November 22 · 

Doing Time—Lemon Verbatim...

"I can't imagine anybody else other than Trump. Can you imagine anybody else other than Trump? Have a good time, everybody. Thank you." 



November 21 · 

Robber’s Court...

“Sorry Chief Justice John Roberts, but you do indeed have ‘Obama judges,’ and they have a much different point of view than the people who are charged with the safety of our country who have a wanton disregard of human decency and a kleptocratic mindset.”



November 20 · 

Asses All...

"Our intelligence agencies continue to assess all information, but it could very well be that the Crown Prince, who ordered the killing, had knowledge of this tragic event — maybe he did and maybe he didn't!"



November 19 · 

The Pleasure Is All Mine—Lemon Verbatim...

“I mean, as big as they look on the tube, you don’t see what’s going on until you come here. And what we saw at Pleasure—what a name, right now—but what we just saw, we just left Pleasure [corrected off-camera]...or Paradise. And what we saw at Paradise is just—it's just not acceptable.”



November 18 · 

Acosting the Press...

“Yeah, its fine, I mean it’s not a big deal. What they said, though, is that we have to create rules and regulations for conduct etc. etc. We’re doing that, were going to write them up right now. Every question to me will have to be addressed, ‘My Dear Leader’. It’s not a big deal and if he misbehaves, we’ll take him out.” 



November 17 · 

The Anti-Climatic Big Finnish—Lemon Verbatim…

“No, no. I have a strong opinion—I want Great climate. We're gonna have that, and we're gonna have forests that are very safe."

“We’ve gotta take care of the floors, you know, the floors of the forest. It’s very important. You look at other countries where they do it differently and it’s a whole different story. I was with the president of Finland and he said, ‘We’re a forest nation.’ He called it a forest nation. And they spend a lot of time on raking and cleaning and doing things. And they don’t have any problem. And when it is, it’s a very small problem.”



November 16 · 

Tricked Up and Going Out—Lemon Verbatim...

“No, my lawyers aren't working on that. I'm working on that. I write the answers. My lawyers don't write answers. I write answers. I was asked a series of questions. I've answered them very easily—very easily. I'm sure they're tricked up because, you know, they like to catch people” 



November 15 · 

Hanging by a Threat...

“The inner workings of the Mueller investigation are a total mess. They have found no collusion and have gone absolutely nuts. They are screaming and shouting at people, horribly threatening them to come up with the answers they want. I don’t want to answer. Honestly, I mean, I know you have it written down, and you're going to tell me. Let me tell you: It's a racist question.”



November 14 · 

Serial Liar—Lemon Verbatim...

“The Republicans don’t win and that’s because of potentially illegal votes. When people get in line that have absolutely no right to vote and they go around in circles. Sometimes they go to their car, put on a different hat, put on a different shirt, come in and vote again. Nobody takes anything. It’s really a disgrace what’s going on. If you buy a box of cereal — you have a voter ID.” 



November 13. 2018

Setting Sites on Foreign Affairs...

“The story in the New York Times concerning North Korea developing missile bases is inaccurate. We fully know about the sites being discussed, nothing new - and nothing happening out of the normal. Just Kim Jung Un’s family business. Very Normal Family Business to cheat and hide. I will be the first to let you know if things go bad!”



November 12 · 

Spurious of the Moment...

“Exactly 100 years ago today, on November 11th, 1918, World War I came to an end. We are gathered together, at this hallowed resting place, to pay tribute to the brave Americans who gave their last breath in that mighty struggle....At the last minute, I couldn’t attend because the rain was very hard. Also couldn’t go to Arlington Cemetery today because of bone-spur PTSD.”



November 11 · 2018

No Forest for the Wicked...

“There is no reason for these massive, deadly and costly forest fires in California except that forest management is so poor. Billions of dollars are given each year, with so many lives lost, all because of gross mismanagement of the forests. Remedy now, or no more Fed payments! Also, Costly vote counting in Florida Is causing hurricanes. Stop counting the votes!”



November 10 · 2018

Going to the Matt for Acting AG...

“Well, Matt Whitaker—I don’t know Matt Whitaker. Matt Whitaker worked for Jeff Sessions, and he was always extremely highly thought of, and he still is. But I didn’t know Matt Whitaker. He will be perfect for investigating The Trump family business which I also don’t know.”



November 9 · 2018

À La Gorey...

“Law Enforcement is looking into another big corruption scandal having to do with Election Fraud in Broward and Palm Beach. Florida voted for Rick Scott, Putin tells me. Counting the votes is unfair! Must be stopped by my Supreme Court!”



November 8 · 2018

Security to Bar Entry—Lemon Verbatim...

“I have been fully briefed on the terrible shooting in California.”

“If they had protection inside the results would have been far better. This is a dispute that will always exist I suspect. If they had some kind of protection inside the temple, maybe it could have been a very much different situation. They didn’t. And he was able to do things that unfortunately he shouldn’t have been able to do.”



November 7 · 2018

Losing His Top—Lemon Verbatim...

“You know what, when you have to fight – all the time fight – you really can’t do lower.”



November 6 · 2018

Democracy at a Law Ebb...

“Law Enforcement has been strongly notified to watch closely for any ILLEGAL VOTING which may take place in Tuesday’s Election (or Early Voting). Anyone caught will be subject to the Maximum Criminal Penalties allowed by law. Barbed wire looks like it's going to be very effective, too, with soldiers standing in front of it. Thank you!”



November 4 · 2018

Zero Interest in Economics...

“It's a far better economy now, and it's not based on zero interest anymore. The Obama economy was based on zero interest. The other economy was 'funny money.' This one is the real deal. This one we borrowed the real money from the bank like when I was a great businessman. We grew the deficit by over a hundred billion last year. We’re on target to reach a trillion by 2019!”



November 4 · 2018

Zero Interest in Economics...

“It's a far better economy now, and it's not based on zero interest anymore. The Obama economy was based on zero interest. The other economy was 'funny money.' This one is the real deal. This one we borrowed the real money from the bank like when I was a great businessman. We grew the deficit by over a hundred billion last year. We’re on target to reach a trillion by 2019!”



November 3 · 2018

Midterm Elections Down to the Wire—Lemon Verbatim...

“They hurt Mexican military very badly. They broke through. You saw it—It was on television. It was terrible. And, so Mexico is trying. They are trying. But we’re different. We more than try. We have our military there now on the border. And I noticed all of that beautiful barbed wire going up today. Barbed wire used properly can be a beautiful sight.”



November 2 · 2018

Rifling the Laws—Lemon Verbatim...

“If they want to throw rocks at our military, our military fights back. We're going to consider—and I told them, consider it a rifle. When they throw rocks like they did at the Mexico military and police, I say, consider it a rifle."



November 1, 2018

Detention Camps For All In Tents And Purposes—Lemon Verbatim…

“We’re stopping people at the border. This is an invasion...We are building massive numbers of tents and we will hold them in tents. You don’t have to release them.“